Survive Your Breakup

When two people make the commitment to marriage they are saying that they want to spend the rest of their life with each other. It is a beautiful vow that declares there is only one person that they want to be with, and they are prepared to stick with that person, “in sickness and in health, in good times and bad” for ever and ever. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work like that. In the United States nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Think about the last two weddings you went to. Statistically one of those marriages will fail.

The problem tends to be that sticking together in good times is easy and enjoyable to do, but when you are talking about the not so good times many people take ending it as the easiest option. However, your marriage does not have to end. With a little work you can save it and get back the happier times. There is a very simple three step process that you should follow to go from the situation you are in now, where you are looking for a solution, through to the situation you want to be in, where your marriage is as happy as it once was.

Follow the 3 guidelines below. A more detailed step-by-step blueprint can be found in Win Back Love.

Step One: Decide You Want It.

This may sound like a simple step, but it’s really not. Actually, it’s probably the most difficult step of all three. It’s easy for you to say you want to save your marriage. But it’s all very well to say you want to lose weight as well, and we all know that doesn’t necessarily mean it is going to happen. When you decide it is what you want, you must put aside all else for now, and make it your top focus. Your purpose in life needs to become singular. Your purpose for existence is now simply this: saving your marriage. What does that mean? It may even mean losing your job. If you won’t do that, it’s clear that your job is more important than your marriage. If it means not seeing your friends, then you simply don’t see your friends at this time. If you aren’t prepared to do that then your friends are more important than your marriage. Everything you are doing you should be asking “will this help fix my marriage”. The answer should always be yes.

Step Two: Figure Out What Is Wrong.

Again, this is not as easy as it sounds. Usually the things that trigger arguments aren’t the underlying problems, and it is the underlying problems you need to get to. Sit with your spouse and acknowledge that things are not going as you would like. Be honest about how you and your spouse are feeling. It is often better if the man goes first when you do this. You can get the conversation started by asking them what you can do to make them happier. Often a man’s first response to that will be sexual. Do not assume he’s just being flippant or crude. A man often needs a strong physical aspect to a relationship, so accept his response. Then say, “Fine. What else.”

Step Three: Fix It

Once you have acknowledged a problem, and defined it, it becomes so much easier to actually see what the steps are to fixing it. The solution is almost always contained within the problem. If the problem is that your spouse feels they don’t have enough time with you, you already have the solution. In the same way, if they feel they need more time apart you can give them that. The key is to identify the real problems and have an honest shot at fixing them.

So those are our 3 steps to saving your marriage. It might seem simplistic but there are easy strategies you can use to achieve them and keep your marriage. Never give up!

Get back the good feelings and build a strong and happy marriage. Check out Win Back Love: How To Get Back The Love Of Your Life, by Annalyn Caras.

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