Survive Your Breakup

Just like the sun rises, break-ups do happen. And sometimes it is a good thing. No matter how hard you work at a relationship it is inevitable that there will be bumpy, rough times.

When a break up does happen there is a natural tendency to want to get back together, on the part of at least one of the former partners. You must ask yourself first whether this relationship is worthy of the effort of trying to save it. We will assume in this instance that it is a good idea, and strategies to make it happen exist.

Of course you will want to get back with your ex. Don’t go too far with this, but a little is OK. You can pull both off simultaneously sometimes. Try these five strategies, and see where they take you.

Strength is good. You know that no normal person is attracted to a needy one. Or if the relationship was based on that codependency of a whimpering weakling and a soother, then run for your life as this was an unhealthy relationship to begin with and is not worth saving. You will seem more balanced and attractive to your ex if you seem to be dealing well with the break up.

You need time to clear your mind, and so does your ex. Therefore a time with no contact is a great idea. You can assume that however you are feeling about the circumstances is exactly how your ex is also feeling. And this is a good omen for getting back together. If both parties can begin to realize how special and valuable the other person was, there is a great foundation for reconciling. Just like you need to come to the conclusion yourself, so does your ex. That is why a period with no communication is a good idea.

A flexible approach is a must. Say no to ultimatums and / or deadlines. Slowly build up the communication. And remember, communication is not just you talking. It is also you listening, and listening well. Make sure at this critical juncture that you are really listening and hearing what is actually being said. Not what you want them to say, or what you think they are saying. This means what they are saying exactly. And this is not as easy as it sounds, particularly at times of high emotion.

You must be yourself. Do not try to be what you think your ex wants. Be you. Because, if your ex does not want you back for you, then it will not work. Be you, and let your ex be him or her self also. Make sure you want to get back with your real ex, not the person you want them to be.

Spend time with your friends. This is no time to be alone, lamenting the past. So go out and enjoy yourself. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you are compelled to try another relationship, or date. Statistics say that rebound relationships are not likely to succeed in any event. It is good therapy, and if you seem to be dealing well with the break up, and are able to lead a normal healthy social life with your friends, it only makes you more appealing to your ex anyway.

The author operates a Save Your Relationship site, you can read more about Getting Your Ex Back

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