Get My Ex Back in Three Steps
When the break up first happens there is usually an inclination to try to get straight back with your partner. This is particularly so if you were the one who was dumped.
Feeling depressed is quite normal, although everybody is different. There are some things you can do at this stage, to try to get your ex back. Some things help, but some things will drive your ex away more.
Sometimes the advice you get is to follow your heart. To do what your instincts tell you. Now, I am certainly not here to try to tell you what to do. Decide, and then be responsible for what you do.
However, my advice, which you can take or leave, is to consider doing exactly the opposite of what your instincts tell you to do for a period of time. Before you call me crazy, hear me out.
You will feel inclined to try to talk with your ex. Perhaps you feel, because you are depressed, that you should stay inside all day and stay away from people because you are not good company and you don’t want to bother your friends. I say NO to both of these.
Instead, consider the following:
You need to accept that the break up is really happening. Accept that this is really happening, you are beyond that point, and this is real. Ultimately you might be able to get back with your ex, but for now you need to simply accept that you are in the middle of a break up.
No matter what the outcome, the process of coming to a point of acceptance is necessary, and healthy. You also need to allow your ex to go through the same process. You will get in the right frame of mind for a reconciliation if you both go through this and realize that there is a bond worth rescuing. You must go through this process, and do so apart from your ex. It is the time to ponder alternatives. It is a time to accept what is happening. At that juncture it is the time to consider future moves.
It is of benefit to go for a while without talking. Let us face facts. The communications you were having brought you to a break up. Different behaviours are necessary in the future to achieve reconciliation. Stay away and don’t communicate – at least for a cooling-off period.
Get out with your friends. You can tell your true friends hos you feel, and lean on them, relax, and try to enjoy their company. Nobody likes people who are down all the time. But everybody understands that their friends go through times when they need support. I believe we all have many acquaintances, and some of those are good friends. This is the time to find out who your real friends are. You will find that some are “fair weather” friends, who are only there for you when times are good and you are fun to be around. But you will also find out who your true friends are. These are the ones who are there to support you in bad times as well as good times. Cherish this information, and remember it is a two way street. These are the people who you should do everything to support and help also. Only in times of real difficulty do you find out who your real friends are. But it is invaluable to know. Lean on them now, and savor their true friendship. Remember who the superficial friend are too.
So you see that you can put the terrible time immediately after a break up to good use. Spend the time to accept the current situation, discover your real friends, and refresh your mind. That gives you a solid foundation to getting back on track.
The author operates a Get Your Ex Back resource website.
