Survive Your Breakup

Jenny had a problem with her ex boyfriend.  In order to repair the relationship, she needed him to understand that she required real commitment.

Brian had a hard time with committment.  Brian would get real serious with her for months at a time and then turn it off.  This had happened three times and Jenny was tired of saying Brian was her boyfriend and then her ex boyfriend.  To get back together this time would require something more.

Jenny reflected on what she desired and developed a two-goal plan.

First of all, she said that they could get back together one more time.  If Brian freaked out again then Jenny would move on and forget Brian.  Brian could not mess around this time.

**Side Bar**

Discover the most powerful tactics in the Magic of Making Up.
Win Your Boyfriend Back
Ways To Get Your Girlfriend Back

**Side Bar**

But the second prong was just as important.  Jenny realized that part of the problem was hers.  She often required more committment from Brian too early on.  Brian always agreed at the outset, but then only after a couple weeks he would feel stifled and want more time alone.

So, Jenny decided that this time, Brian would set the pace for the relationship.  This time, she would only require that he not date other girls.  Other than that fundamental principle, he would control the pace of the relationship.

When Jenny presented this solution to her ex boyfriend, to go out again with the understanding that he would set the speed, Brian was very interested.

Brian, being like most guys, needed to be the pursuer.  Whenever Jenny set the pace, she stole away his power to chase her.  He discovered that he felt both emasculated and suffocated at the same time. So, Jenny stopped calling him.  She let Brian call her.  She stopped organizing all their dates and let him decide what to do.

Jenny discovered that at first they didn’t go on dates as frequently as she would wanted.  And, what they would do on dates was not as exciting as she would have liked.

But, she also realized that the time they spent together was more special than it had been in the past.  Brian no longer felt like he was in a strange place when he was together with her.  And, he didn’t need to take “breaks” from her. Jenny first needed to decide what she wanted.  She knew she wanted Brian and she was sure she wanted him completely.

But, she also must find out what Brian needed.  He needed some freedom and he also had to be in control of the relationship.  Even though she is a progressive woman, Jenny knew that this was important to Brian.

Suddenly, Brian wasn’t an ex boyfriend.  To get back with your ex, find out what you want and what he desires.  Then give it.

Comments are closed.