Relationship Help Through Better Arguing
Arguing amongst mates is common. And, to a certain extent, arguing should happen between two independent adults who are in a relationship. It’s going to happen. There is no need to worry that your relationship is in trouble if you argue from time to time. You can get Relationship Help on this here.
Arguing in an unhealthy way, however, can be a BIG problem. Even just a few arguments that are unhealthy can cause serious damage to your relationship.
Unhealthy arguing that damages the relationship occurs in several ways. The first common way is when one or both of you attack the other, or withdraw into silence for days. Attacking your mate, yelling at them, screaming or deriding them is a bad way to argue. Another negative way to argue is to withdraw for hours or days and refuse to talk with your mate. Both attacking and withdrawing lead to problems.
An additional bad way to argue is to show contempt or scorn for your mate. Saying hurtful things like “you’re worthless” creates damage that lasts a long time. If you say things like this to your mate or they say things like this to you, you definitely should make it a priority to learn to argue more healthily.
Here are some healthy ways to argue. First, try to breathe through your anger or fear. Focusing on your breathing can help you to stay calm and present. This can take a while to learn, but it helps. You can get more How To Get Love Relationship Advice here.
It can take a good while to learn to do, but the next thing is to focus on de-escalation. This means to lower the volume and temperature of the arguing. See if you can get your mate to calm down by talking more softly yourself. Act in a non-threatening way and give them some space.
Another key skill for good arguing is to ask your lover what’s important to them about the thing you’re arguing over. Then shut up and LISTEN. You don’t have to agree, but just listening will make room for you to share your views and then you can often get to a compromise.
Lastly, a great move is to reconnect with your lover fast after the argument is over. Don’t let the resentment and silence linger or build up. Say “I’m sorry we disagreed, are you all right?” Break the ice! There is much more to learn about good conflict, but this is a good start. You can get a complete system about How To Get Love Help here.
