Posts Tagged ‘couples counselor’
What to do in a struggling relationship
One of the great things we experience in our lifetimes is the relationships we have.From the wonderful experiences of family relationships to love relationships it is great.But in a few instances what was once good can turn bad.What used to be something of great happiness can now become so painful and sorrowful.
I have seen this first hand helping people in couples counseling San Diego. What used to be a great loving relationship turns into a constant battle.What used to look so promising and bright is now such a bad outlook.What occurred and what is there that can be done to fix it?
That is a huge question and one that will be difficult to answer. Every relationship struggle is different. But my experience as a marriage counselor San Diego has shown me there are methods you can use to bring out good solutions.
One of the things that is helpful to them is by giving them a safe place to talk.Most of the times when you try and address the problems at your house it just won’t work.By enabling them to feel safe in an environment allows them to get comfortable and helps them work things out.
Another thing that can help the couple is by being an ear for them.But not just any ear but one that doesn’t take sides.An ear that is able to hear the issues and talk about them impartially.Accomplishing that can work miracles.That third person can mean the difference because they can approach the issue without being heated. When a couple tries to do it in the heat of battle it just doesn’t work.
Another thing that the couple can be helped with is by teaching them how to listen to each other. In my practice doing marriage counseling San Diego, I help them develop these skills. These skills help them hear each other out rather than always trying to win the point.
By doing this, they are able to really address the issues. Doing these few things in a rocky relationship can work wonders.I have seen it in action countless times as a marriage counselor.
A Couples Counselor Study
“For a lot of couples, life gets up and running and we stop paying attention to the health or our marriage,” explains Dr. James Cordova, Ph.D. “Often, our marriages don’t catch our attention until they start to hurt.” Cordova is an associate professor of psychology at Clark University in Massachusetts, where he is heading a study on the effectiveness of an annual couples counselor. So far, he says the results are promising for “a marriage checkup,” which can offer prevention and treatment for a number of marital snafus.
In an annual couples counselor check up, you and your spouse will attend an initial session to complete a series of questions about marital health, revealing how problems are solved, what communication skills each mate possesses, what each person feels about child rearing, which intimacy issues may come up and what patterns of disagreements frequently surface. In the second session, the couples will come in face-to-face for an interview with the counselors. “We ask about the early phases of their marriage, how they got together, the decision to get married,” Cordova says, thereby identifying strengths and weaknesses.
The initial results of these annual counseling sessions for couples have been promising, Cordova reports. In the first 68 couples, most reported increased marital satisfaction, improvements in intimacy and a higher level of cooperation and acceptance in their households. “People that have been through the marriage checkup are improving in all kinds of ways in comparison to couples who haven’t.” He admits that some couples will undoubtedly relapse, as anyone would in medical or emotional therapy, yet those with access to treatment always fare better.
David and Kay Bayer are two study participants who saw a couples counselor together. Though they’ve been married for 23 years, they said they wanted to participate because they feared unanticipated hurdles. “We had two really close friends get divorced and it sort of hit us when they got divorced: ‘What happened to them?’ So, we’re trying to improve on what we saw go wrong,” Kay Bayer said. Through the study, they learned to communicate more effectively, they said. “You don’t realize the little things that may affect your marriage,” Kay Bayer said. “[I was] learning to speak more clearly to him so he could understand where I was coming from. I tend not to think before I speak on some issues.”