Posts Tagged ‘custody and visitation’
Useful Tips On How To Deal With Divorce Court
Your actions in divorce court can have a tremendous outcome on your divorce settlement. Judges will look at all the evidence presented to them by both attorneys before deciding a case, but actions can speak louder than the written word. If you fail to conduct yourself in an orderly manner, you could loose some of the concessions regarding property division or custody and visitation rights for your children.
Before entering divorce court, it is vitally important that your lawyer and you work out as many details and issues as possible with your spouse’s lawyer. This is usually performed in what is called an early settlement panel, or divorce mediation. This panel takes place in a court house and is attended by your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you and both attorneys. Family law attorneys listen to both sides of the divorce settlement while both counselors go over property divisions, any marital debt that has accumulated and any other issues that comprise the marital settlement agreement. This process can be extremely helpful because it allows many of the issues to be settled between the couople before a judge even hears the case. In some instances, such as in divorce mediations, issues can be resolved and agreed upon without ever having to go to divorce court.
We have all seen cases on television or in the movies where couples are brought into divorce court, and in the end the “good spouse” wins. In reality, this is not so much the case. A judge has the free will to make his or her own decisions about a case, and that decision may not always be in favor of you. When proceeding with a divorce settlement, it is important to remember this fact because it will help you retain a cool demeanor in front of the judge if something is decided against you. The most difficult time to do this, of course, is when children are involved. What a judge decides regarding child custody and visitation rights will rest on the evidence your lawyer presents and the custody laws governing your state. But often a judge makes his or her decision about joint physical custody based on their personal instincts. So it is important to enter a courtroom with an open mind and a clear outlook on how things could turn out in the end.
Your family law attorney can guide you through your time spent in divorce court. Following their lead is very important, especially if you need to speak in front of the judge. As with any other profession, common courtesy is expected in a court of law. This means always addressing the judge as “your honor,” and remembering to thank him or her for your time in front of the bench. If you are trying to present yourself in a professional manner, remember to never make snide or condescending remarks to your spouse. This will only cause you more harm in terms of the divorce settlement. When a joint physical custody battle occurs between you and your spouse, keeping your cool can be difficult. Never bring the children into the courtroom because it will only make things more difficult for everyone involved. Lawyers will always come prepared to court, but to help obtain all the information discussed in divorce court, take notes that will assist your attorney with the proceedings. Being prepared as possible will only benefit you, and hopefully bring about a positive outcome in the end.
Divorce court appearances can be short-lived or drawn out over months at a time. The best way to keep your proceeding relatively brief is by remaining mindful of your actions during the ordeal. Going in with the realization that a judge may not rule in your favor will help you maintain the dignity needed to make it through the settlement with a few bumps and minimal scars. Unlike many of the celebrity divorces shown on television, divorce proceedings for average couples can be done with speed, accuracy and little bickering. Remembering the proper etiquette while following your lawyers lead will help the overall experience.
Adjusting After Divorce
After divorce, many individuals find themselves dealing with insecurities about themselves and their ability to stay in a stable relationship. When children are involved, a divorce can require child custody and visitation rights. Seeing a child go through the rigors of choosing one parent over the other adds to the despair and helplessness a newly divorced parent feels. Yet, divorce does not mean the end of life itself, and many individuals can move on and make a new life for themselves, and for their children.
After divorce takes place, both parties involved may find it hard to move on and start another romantic relationship. This is especially true in cases where one spouse leaves the other. When someone leaves the marriage, they may have an easier time coping with the “emotional baggage” that can accompany a divorce because the person maintains a sense of control over the situation. It becomes difficult for the person “being left” because they feel powerless to control the situation. The role you played in a divorce can determine how well you are able to move on and eventually begin a new relationship. After divorce, try to think about yourself for once and figure out what it is you really want out of a relationship with another individual. This may require you to think back on your marriage to see what went wrong. Was the lack of love mutual between you and your spouse? If you were the one to end the marriage, what made you seek a divorce in the first place? Once you can assess the situation to some degree, avoid falling into isolation, obsessing over the marriage, or trying to find ways to get even. These emotions will only increase the negativity you may already be feeling about yourself or about your former spouse. Instead, give yourself ample time to heal after a divorce and focus on things you always wanted to do during your marriage, but seemed to never find the time for. Focusing on yourself will allow you give you the opportunity to rediscover what makes you happy while diminishing your chances of starting a “rebound relationship” with someone.
Other issues that arise after a divorce are the problems children can face when their parents are living in two different places. Child custody laws can make divorce proceedings difficult and lengthy for everyone involved. In the end, the children are left feeling pulled in two directions. Holidays are the most stressful thing children must adjust to after the custody litigation is resolved. A divorced parent can help their child by making a plan for the holidays and discussing where they will be spending them.
Explain that holiday traditions don’t have to change, but will only be different because both parents won’t be present. Listening to your child’s fears and frustrations about the custody and visitation settlement can help them adjust to living in two places. Many children miss the parent they are not visiting, so allow them to maintain contact during their stay. Helping your child adjust will vary depending on their age, but helping them maintain a sense of normalcy in a difficult situation will help make your relationship with your child stronger.
After divorce, property settlements can be a lengthy and frustrating process to finalize. This is especially true when a couple was married for an extensive period of time. Properties not only include the home you shared, but it can also include vehicles, the family pet and personal belongings. One of the most important things in a property division is finding out who gets the home. If you are keeping the property, be sure the deed is signed over in your name so you can take full responsibility for any payments left on the home. If your spouse gets the home, be sure they sign the deed and take full responsibility. Otherwise, you could be held accountable for payment of the mortgage if they fail to pay the lender.
Financial assets can be awarded to a spouse after divorce, but it can vary depending on your lawyers, the length of the marriage and what both parties originally brought into the marriage. Finally, in some instances, a divorced person can continue to stay on their ex-spouse’s health insurance plan for as long as three years. This is especially true in cases when children are involved and need to stay on one parent’s coverage. Insurance plans will again depend on your divorce settlement and what concessions are made during the proceedings.
Adjusting to life after divorce can seem difficult at first. But with time, the emotional wounds you feel will heal. Giving yourself a chance to cope with the changes you face in life will allow you to find out what is most important to you. Knowing this before you enter a new relationship can prevent you from having a string of meaningless romances. Discovering what is important to you will also help alleviate the problems children encounter when living with a divorced parent. And even if property settlements add extra strain to a difficult situation, coming to grips with your own emotions will improve your ability to think clearly.