Posts Tagged ‘dealing with infidility’
Catch A Cheating Spouse – Is It Okay To Spy?
Should you spy on your spouse? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to no the truth about whether or not your spouse is cheating and what kind of cheating is going on can often times be very strong. There are multiple reasons why the drive to spy on your spouse is so powerful. These are four reasons:
1. Being able to trust is a big reason, not the ability to trust your partner, but trusting yourself. You have probably noticed that your spouse’s behavior has been changing for some time. You may have even confronted your cheating husband or wife and you were met with denial. It is impossible to start coping with infidelity in your marriage when your still in the denial phase.
This has created a big dilemma for you because there is a part of you that is screaming, This doesn’t fit! I don’t believe you! To deny your inner voice, which knows the truth, is creating tremendous internal turmoil. If what your gut instinct is telling you is confirmed, you can at least know that you can trust your gut feelings. You are not going crazy. Spying is a way to prove what your gut has been telling you and allows you to feel confident in listening to your gut feelings.
2. When you spy on your spouse it can help you feel more connected to them when they seem to be drifting away. It helps you maintain some form of contact and still have a connection to the person who used to be well known. It’s kind of like the game of hide-and-seek we played as children. Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least this game offers some form of contact, some involvement. You miss the connection to your spouse and are looking for anyway to maintain at least some contact.
3. Spying on your significant other may be an honest attempt to save your marriage. You have to get to the bottom of it. Your gut is telling you something is not right. You suspect there is a breach in your relationship. You need to know what it is you are up against. You are not willing to stand stagnant and wait. You have to take action. You have to make some sort of movement. You have to move forward in your relationship. You have to continue with your life. It is very hard to maintain any level of sanity when there is a big elephant in the room that no one is willing to talk about. You want to know the truth, confront the truth, deal with it and be free of it. If necessary, you will need to be able to move on and consider life after divorce.
4. Seeing signs of a cheating spouse often mean secrets. Keeping a secret requires a lot of work! Keeping a secret day in and day out has a powerful impact. It becomes the proverbial elephant in the center of the room that no one dares to mention. People go the the extreme to try to ignore it, but it will always be there. Emotionally, you can’t miss it. Secrets are draining.
If the secret continues to exist, the impact will be felt in very subtle ways. It can make people physically ill, sometimes seriously. It can make people sad. People will begin doing crazy things. Children will begin to act out, quit achieving, and exhibit a bunch of other symptoms. The kids, or the generation after will most often be the ones who carry the emotional load. You want to know the truth about your significant other because you can’t continue to live with a secret. You must found out the truth about your spouse. You need to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.
If your gut is telling you that your spouse is cheating on you I would strongly recommend you read my How To Catch A Cheating Spouse Review.