Survive Your Breakup

Posts Tagged ‘does my ex want me back’

That is the big question. You must be totally objective, even though it is really an emotionally subjective matter. Sometimes it seems to you that your ex seems to be showing more interest. Or perhaps your ex is spending what seems like a little more time with you. Perhaps, there are more requests to do little things together.

It is a great omen if these kinds of things are happening. Deal with reality here, not what you want reality to be. There is a lot to be said at this juncture for playing a little hard to get, within reason. You ex will respond better to this kind of thing. The opposite effect, driving them away, can happen if you rush back to eagerly. Just think that it might be that your ex is responding to the hard to get attitude. Now be careful here. There is a little strategy involved, but if you are trying to control someone and force them to do something, then you are not worth getting back with. Do not forget that you are dealing with a person who you love and care about. Do not do anything to your ex that you would not want anybody to do to you.

It is only natural after a break-up to wonder what might have been. It is only natural to be missing someone. Your mind is full of old memories, and also full of scenarios that are better than what you are going through now, and this is even more so if the relationship was a long one. It is also perfectly normal to think thoughts about getting back together. If that is what you are thinking, it is likely what your ex may be thinking also. Those kinds of emotions do not always mean that the best idea is to try to get together once more. This is another reason why taking it slowly and playing a little hard to get is a good idea.

There is also a tendency to try to get back at an ex, for the pain they have caused. And some people play the game of pretending to get back together so that they can end it again, particularly if they were not the one to end it the first time. This is manipulation, and an attempt to salvage self-esteem after the hurt of being dumped. Revenge is never a good thing, and you need to watch out for it. Don’t mess with your ex in that was either. You have already caused each other enough pain.

Sometimes an ex will want to hang out, simply because they have nothing better to do. They are in limbo, waiting for something better to come along. Some of the time the only objective is to prove to themselves that they still have some appeal to you.

That is certainly not to say that nobody wants to get back together. Reconciliation only works if both partners want it to. Additionally, it is much hard work. Proceed slowly for two reasons – you need to understand what is really driving your ex, and you need to give your ex the time to really understand where you are coming from.

Total honesty is absolutely called for. Be honest with yourself and honest with your ex. Do not get back with your ex unless you really want it to happen for the right reasons. And take the time to let your ex prove to you that it is what they really want as well, and for the right reasons. If not, all you are doing is causing more hurt. This is a dead certainty, with only timing up in the air.

The author operates My-Relationship-Fix.com where you can get more Get Ex Back advice