Survive Your Breakup

Posts Tagged ‘Extramarital Affair’

What is the generally accepted cause of an extramarital affair?

An affair may be sexual in character or it could purely be a matter of infatuation with another member of the opposite or same sex. The beginnings of such “affairs” can very often be traced back to some aspect of a marital relationship that is missing for one reason or another. An extramarital affair is one of the three most serious issues affecting a marriage. It involves breaking the most sacred of trusts between a couple. As a consequence, most marriages are not capable of surviving infidelity.

One or more of the reasons itemised as follows, are generally cited as the motivation/excuse for starting an extramarital affair:

1. The spark has gone out of our marital relationship.
2. It started with a peck on the cheek then lead on to something more intense.
3. My partner is always tired and has lost their appetite for sex.
4. My secretary was always coming on to me especially after we’d had a drink or two together.
5. I have renewed my relationship with my ex.
6. Very little intimacy at home because of frequent business trips away.
7. My spouse is suffering from bad health and is unable to respond to sexual intimacy.

It is more than likely that some of the above will not be capable of being resolved. Be that as it may, if a couple are prepared to put the “affair” behind them and are determined to pick up the challenge of working towards repairing their marriage then surviving the infidelity will be all that much easier. Some matters need to be given serious thought however:

• If the innocent spouse has had sexual intercourse with their marriage partner since the beginning of the affair, then it would be advisable to have a medical check to find out whether there are any health issues that require medical treatment. This is an issue that shouldn’t be taken lightly. It is important to determine whether there has been any possible transmission of some form of sexual disease to an innocent partner.
• The question of trust also needs to be given careful consideration. Can I trust my spouse again after what they have done to me and our family?
• Is it really feasible for my spouse to break off the affair, or not to be tempted into another extramarital relationship again even if they have promised that they will remain faithful in the future?
• Consideration needs to be given to engaging a third party to provide marriage counseling to ensure that there is truly a determination on the part of both spouses to make the marriage survive and that solutions and ground rules are firmly in place. It can be quite tough for both the person who has been affected by their partner’s extramarital affair, and the guilty partner, to sort out all the issues associated with this concerning matter on their own.

If you are the blameless party and are really interested in forgiving your spouse, and putting your marriage back on track, there may very well be a distinct possibility of achieving this if:

• Your spouse voluntarily admitted the affair to you.
• They are open when grilled about it.
• They have told you that they are repentant for having strayed.
• They have agreed to sever all contact with the other party.
• They have offered to be involved in counseling.

An extramarital affair doesn’t have to mean the conclusion of a marriage if you both really have the desire and the inclination to fix your relationship then marriage reconciliation is entirely possible.

Has your spouse all of a sudden started to be distant? Have they started to take overtime? Has your spouse quick including your involvement or input in plans they make? Do they make excuses to e away from you? Sure, these could be any number of things, but right now you are probably looking towards them being signs of cheating. There are many husbands and wives that know about that ill feeling when they have reason to believe that their partner is having an Internet Affair. Right now, you have a bad suspicion in the pit of your stomach that your partner is cheating on you and it will not go away, no matter what you do. How do you go about proving it, without letting your spouse know about the suspicions you are having. Today we are going to tell you just what you need to know.

First of all, what is the one place where many affairs happen? It is the Internet. In fact, the beginning of most affairs starts off on the Internet. Why? Simply because there are many websites and chat room that are readily available.

Do you know what websites and chat rooms we are talking about? You know, those ones that say “married but looking.”

Those are the one place where anyone who is married goes in order to test out those waters a bit. A lot of spouses who are considering cheating go there simply because it is easy to do. Besides, by going through those chat rooms and websites, they do not think they will be caught as they are secretive.

These are called online fidelity investigators and sadly, they are being used all too often to determine if a spouse has been cheating online.

Sure, you could always try to do the investigation yourself, or you may want to hire a professional private investigator to help you out with the suspicions of your spouse. However, if that relationship is purely online, there may be a good chance that you can catch them in the act yourself.

When it comes to the online investigation services that are available, you are going to find it easy to catch that spouse that is cheating (or testing the waters). Through a number of investigations, the investigator will be looking for your spouse on ads and married but looking type of web sites.

As we said, the Internet is generally a starting point for that affair, so an online fidelity investigation service may be the most effective and cheapest way for you to go about catching your spouse.

If you find out that your spouse is having an Extramarital Relationships, then you will feel as if your heart has been ripped out from your chest. Obviously, your spouse has ventured off and this is the worst imaginable thing ever. What you need to do is find a way to go about confronting your spouse about this Extramarital Affairs. However, before you confront your spouse, you need to have proof that he or she has been cheating on you.

Marriage can be hard enough with the normal problems that can be faced as a couple. But when you add in an Office Affair those problems seem so little compared to that aspect. It’s something that has happened to many married couples.

Not only will you possibly ruin your marriage, because if your spouse finds out, they will not necessarily be forgiving and decide to stay together. It is the trust of that person that you will be breaking and possibly years of trust can be gone due to only one affair.

It seems that some people though cannot stop from having the Internet Affair, or at least they try and use that as an excuse. However, if you are not satisfied in your marriage isn’t it better to just ask for a divorce? After all you will end up hurting this person and yourself and possibly your lover in the full process.

What makes a person cheat though is it always because they are unhappy? No absolutely not, though it could be one of the main causes. Some may just love the thrill of a chase and obtaining as many notches as they can in their bed post.

While others may feel that the person they married is still there in the person who committed adultery. They feel that giving this person another chance is something that is important, because they can’t imagine what their lives would be without their spouse. It’s all the motivation they need to take the shot at saving a marriage they feel may be great again.

Do you really want to portray to your kids this type of behavior? They should learn that a marriage is about being with one person only, not sleeping around. All you are doing is creating in this child’s mind that this type of behavior is ok, and they may end up in the future doing the same thing.

Right sounds like people who say alcoholism is passed on by kids watching, but that’s actually from genes they inherit. Though children are influenced by what they see and learn in their homes. So why not split up and then head out on the town instead? Wouldn’t it be a lot easier than making one partner in a marriage think everything is alright?

Adultery is something that will devastate a partner in a marriage, something that is in many cases not even expected. Yes there are times when wives or husbands will know that it’s happening. But many people will not know. What happens than besides someone’s world falling apart? Learning to trust again is not always easy either. So instead of running around and having Extramarital Affairs talk to your spouse. Work out your problems or decide to go your separate ways, no one else should come into a relationship when you are married. It’s not something that is right, but in this world it seems to be so easily accepted.