Survive Your Breakup

Posts Tagged ‘Extramarital Affairs’

How many times have most of us heard the comment from someone who has been cheated on that they had no idea that their partner was involved in an extramarital affair? Often this is because they have failed to pick up on the inevitable small or subtle signs, of their partner’s infidelity. In a strong marital relationship, any attraction to a member of the opposite sex will be merely passive and any intimate advances from a member of the opposite sex will be rejected. Generally speaking the reason why people cheat on their partner is because of something lacking, or perceived to be lacking, in their marriage.

There are many signs of cheating, some obvious, some not so.

Here are the six most common reasons for a person indulging in an extramarital affair outside marriage:

1. Protest
Believe it or not there are some people who consider that they are quite entitled to have an affair. This is often the case with people who are constantly arguing with each other. They frequently seek peace and understanding in the arms of another as compensation; which curiously they see as their right.

2. Insecurity

There is often many reasons for this e.g.

• Many men feel shut out when their wife concentrates more on the children and gives little time and attention to him.
• Many women get so involved with their children’s lives and other matters that they neglect the intimate side of a spousal relationship.
• A man may spend excessive amounts of time on work or play to the detriment of their marital relationship. In this circumstance it is not uncommon for a wife to find love and companionship with another.
• As we age, sexual attractiveness wanes and as a consequence many people start to feel a sense of mortality and vulnerability.

3. Sex & Love
When one of the spouses has declining, or no interest in a sexual relationship with their spouse but the partner’s sexual feelings are still strong, an extramarital affair is often thought to be the answer to sexual fulfillment.
 
A person may still need the same kind of love that they first had in their relationship so many years ago. This is of course unrealistic because the total sexual and emotional “in love” feeling that both partners had for each other is a passing thing – many people don’t recognize this and yearn for what was in the early period of their relationship. When that rush of sexually charged love goes, a person may think that something is wrong with their marriage and look for fulfillment elsewhere.

In many of these situations a straying husband/wife will convince themselves that they have only got involved in an illicit relationship because of what is sometimes called the “fun” that is missing from their marital relationship.

Love and romance is the lifeblood of a successful marriage. This article provides tips on what you need to do to remain romantic lovers.

4. The One Night Stand
We often hear about “the one night stand” – this is more often than not an affair that has little relevance to the person that has indulged in it. Often such an affair is conducted in a state of intoxication or out of sexual curiosity. The impact on your partner, if they find out about it, can be devastating nevertheless.

5. Growing Apart
With the passing of time, couples interests and opinions on various matters often go in different directions. Sometimes these differences mean that there is no longer any common ground the result of which may be that couples are not in a position to give each other what they need.

6. Breakdown of a Relationship
When a marriage reaches the stage where there are irreconcilable differences it is common for one or both partners to go about searching for someone else so that they have companionship when the marriage dissolves.

Here are a couple of very common reasons why some people are “affair prone”, and persist in having extramarital affairs throughout a committed relationship, although they usually have no intention of breaking it up:

Excitement
The quality of love and intimacy in marriage naturally changes over the years. However there are those people who, although they recognize this, still yearn for the time when such love and intimacy was exciting and explosive. They still love their partner and don’t want their marriage to fail. To satisfy their craving they find excitement in the arms of others, usually in clandestine one night stands.

Fear of Intimacy
Some people have difficulty in coping with full intimacy in a married relationship. Many of these people, although they love their partner, simply want to distance themselves from the intimate side of marriage. A relationship with another person often achieves this end. At the same time such an arrangement ensures that they are not put in the position of full intimacy with either their spouse or lover. This compromise, strangely enough, tends to satisfy the requirement for a degree of detachment from their marital relationship.

Has your spouse all of a sudden started to be distant? Have they started to take overtime? Has your spouse quick including your involvement or input in plans they make? Do they make excuses to e away from you? Sure, these could be any number of things, but right now you are probably looking towards them being signs of cheating. There are many husbands and wives that know about that ill feeling when they have reason to believe that their partner is having an Internet Affair. Right now, you have a bad suspicion in the pit of your stomach that your partner is cheating on you and it will not go away, no matter what you do. How do you go about proving it, without letting your spouse know about the suspicions you are having. Today we are going to tell you just what you need to know.

First of all, what is the one place where many affairs happen? It is the Internet. In fact, the beginning of most affairs starts off on the Internet. Why? Simply because there are many websites and chat room that are readily available.

Do you know what websites and chat rooms we are talking about? You know, those ones that say “married but looking.”

Those are the one place where anyone who is married goes in order to test out those waters a bit. A lot of spouses who are considering cheating go there simply because it is easy to do. Besides, by going through those chat rooms and websites, they do not think they will be caught as they are secretive.

These are called online fidelity investigators and sadly, they are being used all too often to determine if a spouse has been cheating online.

Sure, you could always try to do the investigation yourself, or you may want to hire a professional private investigator to help you out with the suspicions of your spouse. However, if that relationship is purely online, there may be a good chance that you can catch them in the act yourself.

When it comes to the online investigation services that are available, you are going to find it easy to catch that spouse that is cheating (or testing the waters). Through a number of investigations, the investigator will be looking for your spouse on ads and married but looking type of web sites.

As we said, the Internet is generally a starting point for that affair, so an online fidelity investigation service may be the most effective and cheapest way for you to go about catching your spouse.

If you find out that your spouse is having an Extramarital Relationships, then you will feel as if your heart has been ripped out from your chest. Obviously, your spouse has ventured off and this is the worst imaginable thing ever. What you need to do is find a way to go about confronting your spouse about this Extramarital Affairs. However, before you confront your spouse, you need to have proof that he or she has been cheating on you.

Marriage can be hard enough with the normal problems that can be faced as a couple. But when you add in an Office Affair those problems seem so little compared to that aspect. It’s something that has happened to many married couples.

Not only will you possibly ruin your marriage, because if your spouse finds out, they will not necessarily be forgiving and decide to stay together. It is the trust of that person that you will be breaking and possibly years of trust can be gone due to only one affair.

It seems that some people though cannot stop from having the Internet Affair, or at least they try and use that as an excuse. However, if you are not satisfied in your marriage isn’t it better to just ask for a divorce? After all you will end up hurting this person and yourself and possibly your lover in the full process.

What makes a person cheat though is it always because they are unhappy? No absolutely not, though it could be one of the main causes. Some may just love the thrill of a chase and obtaining as many notches as they can in their bed post.

While others may feel that the person they married is still there in the person who committed adultery. They feel that giving this person another chance is something that is important, because they can’t imagine what their lives would be without their spouse. It’s all the motivation they need to take the shot at saving a marriage they feel may be great again.

Do you really want to portray to your kids this type of behavior? They should learn that a marriage is about being with one person only, not sleeping around. All you are doing is creating in this child’s mind that this type of behavior is ok, and they may end up in the future doing the same thing.

Right sounds like people who say alcoholism is passed on by kids watching, but that’s actually from genes they inherit. Though children are influenced by what they see and learn in their homes. So why not split up and then head out on the town instead? Wouldn’t it be a lot easier than making one partner in a marriage think everything is alright?

Adultery is something that will devastate a partner in a marriage, something that is in many cases not even expected. Yes there are times when wives or husbands will know that it’s happening. But many people will not know. What happens than besides someone’s world falling apart? Learning to trust again is not always easy either. So instead of running around and having Extramarital Affairs talk to your spouse. Work out your problems or decide to go your separate ways, no one else should come into a relationship when you are married. It’s not something that is right, but in this world it seems to be so easily accepted.