Survive Your Breakup

Posts Tagged ‘infidelities’

Many marriages break up over the pain of signs of infidelity. Love and trust that was promised is taken away. The result of infidelity is both pain as well as hurt.

To find some of the sources of that pain, here is a case study of Sue A. And Joe R. As they work on their emotional infidelity struggles.

Joe and Sue grew up next door to one another in the suburbs. In high school they began to date and midway through college Joe ask Sue to marry him. To this union were born three children, two boys and a girl.

As most couples, this one had problems with money. When the children started school Joe told Sue he could work late and increase their income. This actually did not seem to solve their problems. Joe was almost never home. Sue said something that irritated Joe and he moved out.

A few days later after Joe had cooled off a bit, he called Sue to apologize and admitted that he had committed marital infidelity. He had not been working late all those nights. He agreed to seek counseling and wanted to work things out.

Sue is heartbroken. The very idea of forgiveness is nauseating. She has been betrayed by the one she loved the most. In her wildest imagination, she would have never have though of this type betrayal.

Most of us would like for this story to end with reconciliation, however most of these stories do not end this way. Infidelity’s pain is not quickly erased. The mistrust often ends in divorce.

Even if things work out, the mistrust will work their way to the surface again and again. One missed appointment can rapidly bring up old feelings. Joe also has changed. He may no longer be as willing to stick through the tough times that happen in any marriage.

The once strong system of support offered by friends and extended family may also be shattered. Visits may not come as often as they once did. Sue not only feels she cannot confide in Joe, but feels abandoned by friends also.

If divorce ensues, children are often torn between the parents. When one parent relocates to a new city, visitation becomes more limited. Many times they see the parent they do not live with only one or two times yearly at most. Children are pained by the lack of quality time spent with the parent. Parents loose the close contact they once had with their children.

The pain does not end at the judge’s bench however. If Sue is fortunate enough to find a new partner for life, her previous husband’s infidelity marriage can also affect this new relationship. How can she ever trust again.

Joe finds that his income, which was already being stretched thin, is now being split between his new household and that of his former family. He is paying an expensive price for his marital infidelity. He also finds that he has difficulty with trust. It is not that he cannot trust others. Joe has difficulty trusting himself.

If you are considering infidelity, please consider the pain that it may cause by not surviving infidelity. You cannot forget that this is all about marital infidelity