Posts Tagged ‘separation and divorce’
Infidelity Causes More Damage Than Ending A Marriage
Separation and divorce due to infidelity is one of the top reasons why people seek out a family lawyer. The other spouse cheated and it has wrecked the marriage. But it does more than just violate wedding vows. It can completely shake the bedrock of trust. The betrayed party will always wonder what it was that the other spouse was missing from their marriage. It can make an already difficult situation even worse. It is hard to get over and move past. Divorce attorneys see cheating as the number one reason why two people want to be rid of their marriage ties.
It is easy to think of infidelity as being physically intimate with someone other than a spouse. But there are other ways to cheat as well. A person can be involved emotionally with someone other than their spouse. The two may never touch each other physically but it can still be devastating on the faithful wife or husband. No matter what type of infidelities have occurred, all parties are hurt in the end and this can be reflected in the divorce settlement.
Divorce court is not a great place to have to air dirty laundry about infidelities. Most judges do not look favorably on a cheating spouse. In some states it is grounds enough to be granted alimony. There are very few cases of uncontested divorces where a partner has been cheating. Most are very bitter affairs that often require the services of a divorce mediation professional in order to come to a peaceful agreement.
If your partner has cheated on you but you are not quite ready to call it quits, then you can still find marriage help. It will take a lot of work to get the marriage back on track but it can happen. It requires counseling to uncover the reasons why one spouse strayed from the marriage bed. There will be a lot of hurt feelings that have to be overcome and it is entirely possible that you can never let the incident(s) go and that divorce will happen regardless of your efforts to save the marriage.
Infidelity is a devastating thing when it happens. You always wonder if it was something you did to drive your partner into the arms of a lover. There is always that doubt about whether or not your husband or wife ever truly loved you. If they did, then why did they betray you? The divorce laws may be on your side if and when you decide that you cannot live with a cheating partner but it does not make the emotional wounds any easier to deal with.
Will All Marriages Fail As The Number of Divorces Is On The Rise?
The number of divorces seems to rise each year. Getting a divorce attorney and having your marriage dissolved is very easy these days. All it takes is a series of paperwork and forms. In our modern times, the sanctity of marriage is not as sacred as it once was. Yet sustaining a successful marriage is hard work. In the initial stages of a relationship, everything is great. You do not pay attention to the small details that will later become insurmountable mountains of trouble. Divorce court is filled with people who thought their partner’s would change and were greatly shocked years later when things had not changed at all.
The number of divorces being sought these days can be daunting but if you want to beat the statistics, then you are going to have to work at being married. While those minor irritations that grew to huge problems over time are still driving you batty, there may be new problems that have surfaced. You cannot expect your partner to remain exactly the same as when you first met him or her. Going to your family law attorney and filing for dissolution of a marriage is easy, but going to a therapist and facing your marital problems head on, with the hope of making things better, is going to take some work.
So you and your partner are having trouble but you do not think you are quite ready to throw in the towel and go for a separation and divorce. That is great that you are willing to try to work it out. There is marriage help forums and counselors that can help you through the rocky times. There is not a single couple on this planet that has not had trouble at some time. Do you want the single best piece of advice that almost all counselors or therapists offer? You have to learn how to communicate. Most marriages fail because there is a lack of communication. It is not just about talking to each other. It is about letting the other know your wants and desires along with your needs. Communication works when two people are willing to listen to what the other person is saying and even what the other person is trying to communicate physically.
As the number of divorces go up, it is easy to become jaded and just scrap the marriage if there is trouble. Divorce laws make it easy to be free of your partner. You do not have to take this route. If you seek help for your marriage when times get troubled, then you can save your marriage and be happy at the same time.
What Are the Steps When Filing For Divorce?
If you want a decree for divorce, then you have to have reasons. There are not many couples who make it into divorce court that are divorcing simply because they were bored with each other. While it is true that you may be tired of your partner, there are usually problems that have arisen in the marriage making it hard to get along. Sometimes the dissolution of a marriage is the only option left that makes any sense. The fighting has become a constant factor in your daily life. No one should have to live a life like that. It may be time to consider separation and divorce.
In order for divorce to happen, each party must retain the services of a divorce attorney. Contrary to popular belief, you do not need an attorney if it is an uncontested divorce and there are many online divorce forms that you and your spouse fill out and then submit to the court. If there are children involved or there is going to be a dispute over property or finances, then you will need to contact a lawyer to help ensure that you are properly represented.
The first step to becoming separated divorced is to make plans to move out of the home. One of you has to move out of the home and you have to be living apart for a set amount of days. Divorce laws vary from state to state so you need to check with your attorney on how long you and your partner must be living apart before the divorce papers can be filed. During this time of separation, both parties need to get their finances in order. In uncontested divorces both parties come to mutual agreements on real estate, custody, child support and debts.
If you and your partner are not able to come to an agreement peacefully, then you may require the help of a divorce mediation professional. The professional will sit down with both you and your spouse, along with your attorneys, and try to come to an agreement over disputed items. If you can come to an agreement it is best for everyone. If you cannot, then it will have to go before a judge who will make the decision for you and your spouse.
After the paperwork for divorce has been filed with the family law court, you have to wait. Depending on how busy the court docket is will determine how long it will take for your case to come before a judge. Once the judge has reviewed the paperwork submitted by both your attorney and your spouse’s attorney, then he or she will grant the decree for ending the marriage. At that point you are officially single and no longer obligated to a spouse.
Helping You Seek the Right Divorce Lawyer
If you are looking for a restaurant, then picking through the phone book is not such a bad decision. But you do not want to do the same thing when it comes to divorce attorneys. The wrong attorney could wind up failing you when you need him or her most. When choosing a divorce lawyer, you need to ensure that he or she has the background you need in order to be represented well if the divorce becomes bitter and goes to court. The wrong attorney could cost you quite a lot of money in the end.
If you are considering a separation and divorce, then you need a divorce lawyer who is going to have the time to take your case and not simply hand it off to his or her paralegals. Your attorney is your voice when it comes time to go to court and negotiate your divorce settlement. If you pick an attorney who is handling too many cases at once, then you may not get the representation that you need.
Divorce laws differ from state to state so this is something you want to consider when you are getting advice from other people. They may have had a divorce in a different state where the laws are different. You should choose a divorce attorney who lives in close proximity to you. That way he or he will know the judges and can give you an idea on how the divorce will proceed. He or she should always be able to answer all of your questions and be impartial when it comes to giving you advice. You do not want an attorney who wants different things in the divorce than you do. Your goal should be to have an attorney who wants to make the divorce smoother for you; not one to simply rack up more charges and hourly fees.
If you and your spouse have come to an agreement on all of the important issues, such as finances, property, debt and child custody, then your divorce lawyer should speak to you about uncontested divorces. If he or she immediately wants the case to go to court and be a battle, then you may want to reconsider your representation. Yes, going to court to fight for your best interests is just one of the many job services your attorney should offer but he or she should give you other options from the very beginning.
The Vast Sensationalism of Celebrity Divorces
If your separation and divorce did not make the cover of People Magazine, then do not feel bad. Most people’s affairs are not covered by gossip magazines. But celebrity divorces are a constant in the media. People wanted to know every little detail of Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt’s split. Your divorce attorney did not have his name plastered in the gossip rags but theirs did. What is it about a celebrity couple getting divorced that seems to grab the attention of everyone?
Divorce court is filled with couples airing dirty laundry about each other. But very few cases ever receive the same attention that celebrity divorces receive. The year 2009 saw the divorce of Madonna and Guy Ritchie. People were shocked because they had been together for several years and could not quite believe all of the rumors that were surfacing. Gossip rags had a field day with the “he said/she said” allegations that were flying between the two. Couples that seem happy and content in their celebrity marriages rarely make the news.
Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson is one celebrity couple that has managed to stay away from an attorney and a divorce settlement. Things seem pretty good for them and you rarely see any rumors surfacing in the gossip rags. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, however, were one of the Hollywood couples that experts said would divorce quickly. They did manage to stay together for awhile but they ended up divorcing and it has been a constant tabloid sensation since. There have been much faster separations and divorces though. Take for example Nicholas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley. They married in August of 2002 but just three months later a separation was filed. It almost seems as if the divorce papers were signed at start of the marriage.
Finding out that your neighbors or coworkers are having uncontested divorces is not very sensational. After all, how much could truly be at stake? But in the case of a celebrity divorce, people want to know all of the nitty, gritty details. The papers always point to infidelity but there is often more to these separations than what you read. It is easy to view celebrities as iconic figures that are above the everyday mundane tasks that people go through.
For all those who eagerly await celebrity divorces, there are some who want to see celebrity couples make it. Being a celebrity just amplifies every problem. If you are going through a divorce and are battling it out in divorce court, then it suddenly does not seem so bad when compared to the fanfare and censure that celebrities receive. You are not the only one to have a cheating spouse or be in an abusive relationship. It brings celebrities down to a normal level that the everyday Joe can relate with.