Posts Tagged ‘wedding’
The Groom Speech And How To Do It
You have certainly gone through series of lectures on public speaking which mainly talks about having the need to build your self confidence because if you lack such, then it will definitely manifest through the way you stand and speak before a crowd and true indeed, you must observe exactly the same thing as you deliver your groom speech.
As your wedding draws near, the groom speech is something that you should prepare for as it is not only an integral part of the ceremony but because it is the main portion wherein you will be taking into account all those people who have been part of this momentous experience in your life and acknowledging all their efforts in helping you and your family to push through with this successful bonding.
Much more, your speech needs to be meaty as its contents will represent your thoughts on the new life that you are about to lead with your better half and so the words that you will use must be meaty enough to capture the interest of everyone present in the ceremony.
Preparing your groom speech is of vital importance and for things to work the way you expect them to be, it is time you find some guide online because browsing through the websites will lead you to be these guides that will lend you the right words that you can utter on the day of your wedding and it is necessary that you make use of the appropriate words that will express how you feel about your big day and the life that you have chosen to begin with.
It matters that before the big day, you have already gotten familiar with the venue of the reception so better let your organizers set up the equipment that you will be using during the actual event so you can rehearse and become fully adjusted because for sure you will hate surprises on the day of your speech itself.
Another tip to remember is to imagine in your head those people who will be attending and witnessing that very moment when you finally tie the knot with your blushing bride so you might want to ask yourself what is it that will surely touch their hearts as they stare at you and your wife while holding their wine glasses awaiting the signal to propose the toast.
Never rush in pronouncing the words because it will tend to ruin the speech that you have prepared yourself for and it is only by means of pronouncing the words directly from your heart that you can establish that connection with your audience.
The drafting of the groom speech can prove to be a real test for you but what you have to keep in mind is to be able to deliver a great speech on your big day.
So You’re Thinking of Getting Married?
I have witnessed, both within my own family, in the outside world and in my practice, what can happen in a relationship if there is no common bond that can actually bind a couple together.
Well, let me digress (or maybe, progress) and say a bit about getting together as a couple in the first place: even if there is a strong attraction, be it physical, mental or emotional: Love; That does not seem to be enough to keep a couple together; the body will wither, the mind will change and the emotions will flutter. And love may turn into a dependency or habit. Unless, there is a third entity; the glue that binds the one to the other; the bond that binds, a mutual goal and lifetime commitment to it. A common commitment to a external force or ideal, that is greater than both of you, that is stable and enduring, will see you through the tough times that will inevitably come …
In my opinion, there are two good bonds; children and Religion or a Spiritual Practice (to be more politically correct, or any other proven external disciplinary way of life that both parties agreed to commit to whole-heartedly, abide by, follow and emulate; the goal). With both of these present, the chances are multiplies exponentially. But, even with both of these, there are no garantees.
Without these, there is no common bond; it’s just two people living separate lives together: convenient for a nice meal, some ambience, safe sex, and the occasional meaningful conversation …
So, the intent or lifetime goal of both parties must be the same. Otherwise, both sides will be resentful, because, in any situation, for any important decision, no compromise can satisfy both of the parties, because their primary motivating goals are different; or they have no primary motivating goals and “just don’t feel like it” at the time. And so there is no improvement in the situation and resentments, anger, etc. build; and there is no possibility for a long-term relationship.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards negativity, insecurity and fear/anxiety. But this is who the person is at the moment; and they are perfect the way they are.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards not wanting to be so depended upon by the other, for their happiness, security and emotional wellbeing. But this is who that person is at the moment; and perfect the way they are.
Much of this may stem from residual family entanglements. Some behaviors may come from “inherited” family control issues. Some behaviors may come from family insecurity issues.
There are a few key issues that need to be kept in mind: Trust! Honesty! One must trust the other, as the right hand trusts the left. And one must be honest and trustworthy, inside the relationship and in the world at large as well; trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and trusting your partner and being honest with your partner, and being trustworthy and honest in all your dealings in the world. In other words, your thoughts, speech and actions should always be in line with a clear conscience.
There are times when you will feel rejected or abandoned, based on your perception of the situation. There is usually no reason to feel this way; from the other’s standpoint, it’s not about you, it may be about their family control issues.
At times you may feel that you would appear weak if you give in to the desires of the other. There is no reason to feel weak by giving in: remember the bond that binds; you can show your compassion and accommodation of what may be the other’s family insecurity issues.
Besides the above mentioned, or perhaps, because of the above mentioned, there may be a lack of real compassion and empathy on the part of both parties for each other. To see the world from the other persons heart and to trust the other person, that they are doing the best they can. To see them as perfect, the way they are. (That’s not to say that there is no room for improvement.) To realize the person is always more important than any ideology or material object or goal; the relationship comes first.
Perhaps ask; what’s the worst thing that can happen if the worst thing happens. Most of the time, when the dust settles, nothing too spectacular. Again, the third entity, the bond that binds, the trust in that everything that happens is only good.
There is a need for genuine compassion and complete acceptance of the other as perfect as they are; acknowledgement and acceptance of each others needs and idiosyncrasies and the commitment and willingness to live with them as they are, for as long as they are that way. And this, as has been proven throught the ages, and continues to be valid, cannot be accomplished without the “third party”, which is the bond that binds one love to the other.
The other person; their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals must be your own as well: you are one; heads and tails of the same coin. One person, soul, living life in two bodies.
It says, “All beginnings are difficult”. And while this may be so, you can ensure that the trip will be worthwhile and pleasant for you and for all of those who love you, by heading in the right direction, with the right foot, for the right reasons, towards the right goal …
Abraham Bruck is the developer of the Universal Healing Technique and the UHT Lifetime Trauma Resolution Protocol.
How to Stay Married for Better or for Worse
I have witnessed, both within my own family, in the outside world and in my practice, what can happen in a relationship if there is no common bond that can actually bind a couple together.
Well, let me digress (or maybe, progress) and say a bit about getting together as a couple in the first place: even if there is a strong attraction, be it physical, mental or emotional: Love; That does not seem to be enough to keep a couple together; the body will wither, the mind will change and the emotions will flutter. And love may turn into a dependency or habit. Unless, there is a third entity; the glue that binds the one to the other; the bond that binds, a mutual goal and lifetime commitment to it. The “it” needs to be greater that both of you, a driving force that can take both of you, like a boat down the river, or an ark during a flood (and floods there will be) …
In my opinion, there are two good bonds; children and Religion or a Spiritual Practice (to be more politically correct, or any other proven external disciplinary way of life that both parties agreed to commit to whole-heartedly, abide by, follow and emulate; the goal). Even if both of these are present, there are no guarantees, but the chances are greatly improved.
Without these, there is no common bond; it’s just two people living separate lives together: convenient for a nice meal, some ambience, safe sex, and the occasional meaningful conversation …
So, the intent or lifetime goal of both parties must be the same. Otherwise, both sides will be resentful, because, in any situation, for any important decision, no compromise can satisfy both of the parties, because their primary motivating goals are different; or they have no primary motivating goals and “just don’t feel like it” at the time. And so there is no improvement in the situation and resentments, anger, etc. build; and there is no possibility for a long-term relationship.
A tendency towards negativity, insecurity and fear/anxiety may sometimes seem to obscure love. But this is who the person is at the moment; and they are perfect the way they are.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards not wanting to be so depended upon by the other, for their happiness, security and emotional wellbeing. But this is who that person is at the moment; and perfect the way they are.
Much of this may stem from residual family entanglements. Some behaviors may come from family control issues. Some behaviors may come from family insecurity issues.
There are a few key issues that need to be kept in mind: Trust! Honesty! One must trust the other, as the right hand trusts the left. And one must be honest and trustworthy, inside the relationship and in the world at large as well; trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and trusting your partner and being honest with your partner, and being trustworthy and honest in all your dealings in the world. In other words, your thoughts, speech and actions should always be in line with a clear conscience.
There are times when you will feel rejected or abandoned, based on your perception of the situation. There is usually no reason to feel this way; from the other’s standpoint, it’s not about you, it may be about their family control issues.
At times you may feel that you would appear weak if you give in to the desires of the other. There is no reason to feel weak by giving in: remember the bond that binds; you can show your compassion and accommodation of what may be the other’s family insecurity issues.
Besides the above mentioned, or perhaps, because of the above mentioned, there may be a lack of real compassion and empathy on the part of both parties for each other. To see the world from the other persons heart and to trust the other person, that they are doing the best they can. To see them as perfect, the way they are. (Don’t get me wrong: there is always room for improvement.) To realize the person is always more important than any ideology or material object or goal; the relationship comes first.
Perhaps ask; what’s the worst thing that can happen if the worst thing happens. In most cases, upon sober reflection, the answer is; nothing very devastating. Again, the third entity, the bond that binds, the trust in that everything that happens is only good.
There is a need for genuine compassion and complete acceptance of the other as perfect as they are; acknowledgement and acceptance of each others needs and idiosyncrasies and the commitment and willingness to live with them as they are, for as long as they are that way. And this, as has been proven throught the ages, and continues to be valid, cannot be accomplished without the “third party”, which is the bond that binds one love to the other.
The other person; their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals must be your own as well: you are one; heads and tails of the same coin. One spirit, one soul, split off into two bodies.
It says, “All beginnings are difficult”. And while this may be so, heading in the right direction, with the right foot, for the right reasons, towards the right goal, will ensure that the trip will be worthwhile and pleasant for you and for all of those who love you …
Abraham Bruck is the developer of the Universal Healing Technique and the UHT Lifetime Trauma Resolution Protocol.
How to Stay Married in Good Times and Bad
I have witnessed, both within my own family, in the outside world and in my practice, what can happen in a relationship if there is no common bond that can actually bind a couple together.
Well, let me digress (or maybe, progress) and say a bit about getting together as a couple in the first place: even if there is a strong attraction, be it physical, mental or emotional: Love; That does not seem to be enough to keep a couple together; the body will wither, the mind will change and the emotions will flutter. And love may turn into a dependency or habit. Unless, there is a third entity; the glue that binds the one to the other; the bond that binds, a mutual goal and lifetime commitment to it. The “it” needs to be greater that both of you, a driving force that can take both of you, like a boat down the river, or an ark during a flood (and floods there will be) …
In my opinion, there are two good bonds; children and Religion or a Spiritual Practice (to be more politically correct, or any other proven external disciplinary way of life that both parties agreed to commit to whole-heartedly, abide by, follow and emulate; the goal). There are, of course, no guarantees even if both of these are there, but the chances are multiplied exponentially.
Without these, there is no common bond; it’s just two people living separate lives together: convenient for a nice meal, some ambience, safe sex, and the occasional meaningful conversation …
So, both parties must have the same intent or lifetime goal. Otherwise, both sides will be resentful, because, in any situation, for any important decision, no compromise can satisfy both of the parties, because their primary motivating goals are different; or they have no primary motivating goals and “just don’t feel like it” at the time. And so there is no improvement in the situation and resentments, anger, etc. build; and there is no possibility for a long-term relationship.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards negativity, insecurity and fear/anxiety. But this is who the person is at the moment; and they are perfect the way they are.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards not wanting to be so depended upon by the other, for their happiness, security and emotional wellbeing. But this is who that person is at the moment; and perfect the way they are.
Much of this may stem from residual family entanglements. Control issues coming from the family of origin may be the cause of some behaviors. Some behaviors may come from family insecurity issues.
There are a few key issues that need to be kept in mind: Trust! Honesty! One must trust the other, as the right hand trusts the left. And one must be honest and trustworthy, inside the relationship and in the world at large as well; trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and trusting your partner and being honest with your partner, and being trustworthy and honest in all your dealings in the world. In other words, your thoughts, speech and actions should always be in line with a clear conscience.
There are times when you will feel rejected or abandoned, based on your perception of the situation. There is usually no reason to feel this way; from the other’s standpoint, it’s not about you, it may be about their family control issues.
At times you may feel that you would appear weak if you give in to the desires of the other. There is no reason to feel weak by giving in: remember the bond that binds; you can show your compassion and accommodation of what may be the other’s family insecurity issues.
Besides the above mentioned, or perhaps, because of the above mentioned, there may be a lack of real compassion and empathy on the part of both parties for each other. To see the world from the other persons heart and to trust the other person, that they are doing the best they can. To see them as perfect, the way they are. (Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that there is no room for improvement.) To realize the person is always more important than any ideology or material object or goal; the relationship comes first.
Perhaps ask; what’s the worst thing that can happen if the worst thing happens. In most cases, upon sober reflection, the answer is; nothing very devastating. Again, the third entity, the bond that binds, the trust in that everything that happens is only good.
There is a need for genuine compassion and complete acceptance of the other as perfect as they are; acknowledgement and acceptance of each others needs and idiosyncrasies and the commitment and willingness to live with them as they are, for as long as they are that way. And how can we come to such a point. History has shown, as do presetn day successful marriages, that there is a bond that binds one love ot the other. This “glue” comes in the form of a “third party”.
The other person; their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals must be your own as well: you are one; heads and tails of the same coin. Essentially, two bodies split off from one soul, one spirit.
It says, “All beginnings are difficult”. And while this may be so, you can ensure that the trip will be worthwhile and pleasant for you and for all of those who love you, by heading in the right direction, with the right foot, for the right reasons, towards the right goal …
Abraham Bruck is the developer of the Universal Healing Technique and the UHT Lifetime Trauma Resolution Protocol.
So You’re Thinking of Getting Married?
I have witnessed, both within my own family, in the outside world and in my practice, what can happen in a relationship if there is no common bond that can actually bind a couple together.
First let me state the not so obvious: a strong attraction, be it physical, mental or emotional: Love; Does not seem to be enough to keep a couple together. Why? Becuse eventually, the body will wither, the mind will change and the emotions will flutter. And love may turn into a dependency or habit. Unless, there is a third entity; the glue that binds the one to the other; the bond that binds, a mutual goal and lifetime commitment to it. The “it” needs to be greater that both of you, a driving force that can take both of you, like a boat down the river, or an ark during a flood (and floods there will be) …
In my opinion, there are two good bonds; children and Religion or a Spiritual Practice (to be more politically correct, or any other proven external disciplinary way of life that both parties agreed to commit to whole-heartedly, abide by, follow and emulate; the goal). There are, of course, no guarantees even if both of these are there, but the chances are multiplied exponentially.
Without these, there is no common bond; it’s just two people living separate lives together: convenient for a nice meal, some ambience, safe sex, and the occasional meaningful conversation …
So, both parties must have the same intent or lifetime goal. Otherwise, both sides will be resentful, because, in any situation, for any important decision, no compromise can satisfy both of the parties, because their primary motivating goals are different; or they have no primary motivating goals and “just don’t feel like it” at the time. And so there is no improvement in the situation and resentments, anger, etc. build; and there is no possibility for a long-term relationship.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards negativity, insecurity and fear/anxiety. But this is who the person is at the moment; and they are perfect the way they are.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards not wanting to be so depended upon by the other, for their happiness, security and emotional wellbeing. But this is who that person is at the moment; and perfect the way they are.
Much of this may stem from residual family entanglements. Control issues coming from the family of origin may be the cause of some behaviors. Some behaviors may come from family insecurity issues.
There are a few key issues that need to be kept in mind: Trust! Honesty! One must trust the other, as the right hand trusts the left. And one must be honest and trustworthy, inside the relationship and in the world at large as well; trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and trusting your partner and being honest with your partner, and being trustworthy and honest in all your dealings in the world. In other words, your thoughts, speech and actions should always be in line with a clear conscience.
There are times when you will feel rejected or abandoned, based on your perception of the situation. There is usually no reason to feel this way; from the other’s standpoint, it’s not about you, it may be about their family control issues.
At times you may feel that you would appear weak if you give in to the desires of the other. There is no reason to feel weak by giving in: remember the bond that binds; you can show your compassion and accommodation of what may be the other’s family insecurity issues.
Besides the above mentioned, or perhaps, because of the above mentioned, there may be a lack of real compassion and empathy on the part of both parties for each other. To see the world from the other persons heart and to trust the other person, that they are doing the best they can. To see them as perfect, the way they are. (That’s not to say that there is no room for improvement.) To realize the person is always more important than any ideology or material object or goal; the relationship comes first.
Perhaps ask; what’s the worst thing that can happen if the worst thing happens. Most of the time, when the dust settles, nothing too spectacular. Again, the third entity, the bond that binds, the trust in that everything that happens is only good.
There is a need for genuine compassion and complete acceptance of the other as perfect as they are; acknowledgement and acceptance of each others needs and idiosyncrasies and the commitment and willingness to live with them as they are, for as long as they are that way. And this, as has been proven throught the ages, and continues to be valid, cannot be accomplished without the “third party”, which is the bond that binds one love to the other.
The other person; their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals must be your own as well: you are one; heads and tails of the same coin. One person, soul, living life in two bodies.
It says, “All beginnings are difficult”. And while this may be so, heading in the right direction, with the right foot, for the right reasons, towards the right goal, will ensure that the trip will be worthwhile and pleasant for you and for all of those who love you …
Abraham Bruck is the developer of the Universal Healing Technique and the UHT Lifetime Trauma Resolution Protocol.
So You’re Thinking of Getting Divorced?
I have witnessed, both within my own family, in the outside world and in my practice, what can happen in a relationship if there is no common bond that can actually bind a couple together.
Well, let me digress (or maybe, progress) and say a bit about getting together as a couple in the first place: even if there is a strong attraction, be it physical, mental or emotional: Love; That does not seem to be enough to keep a couple together; the body will wither, the mind will change and the emotions will flutter. And love may turn into a dependency or habit. Unless, there is a third entity; the glue that binds the one to the other; the bond that binds, a mutual goal and lifetime commitment to it. The “it” needs to be greater that both of you, a driving force that can take both of you, like a boat down the river, or an ark during a flood (and floods there will be) …
In my opinion, there are two good bonds; children and Religion or a Spiritual Practice (to be more politically correct, or any other proven external disciplinary way of life that both parties agreed to commit to whole-heartedly, abide by, follow and emulate; the goal). Even if both of these are present, there are no guarantees, but the chances are greatly improved.
Without these, there is no common bond; it’s just two people living separate lives together: convenient for a nice meal, some ambience, safe sex, and the occasional meaningful conversation …
So, both parties must have the same intent or lifetime goal. Otherwise, both sides will be resentful, because, in any situation, for any important decision, no compromise can satisfy both of the parties, because their primary motivating goals are different; or they have no primary motivating goals and “just don’t feel like it” at the time. And so there is no improvement in the situation and resentments, anger, etc. build; and there is no possibility for a long-term relationship.
A tendency towards negativity, insecurity and fear/anxiety may sometimes seem to obscure love. But this is who the person is at the moment; and they are perfect the way they are.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards not wanting to be so depended upon by the other, for their happiness, security and emotional wellbeing. But this is who that person is at the moment; and perfect the way they are.
Much of this may stem from residual family entanglements. Some behaviors may come from family control issues. Some behaviors may come from family insecurity issues.
There are a few key issues that need to be kept in mind: Trust! Honesty! One must trust the other, as the right hand trusts the left. And one must be honest and trustworthy, inside the relationship and in the world at large as well; trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and trusting your partner and being honest with your partner, and being trustworthy and honest in all your dealings in the world. In other words, your thoughts, speech and actions should always be in line with a clear conscience.
There are times when you will feel rejected or abandoned, based on your perception of the situation. There is usually no reason to feel this way; from the other’s standpoint, it’s not about you, it may be about their family control issues.
At times you may feel that you would appear weak if you give in to the desires of the other. There is no reason to feel weak by giving in: remember the bond that binds; you can show your compassion and accommodation of what may be the other’s family insecurity issues.
Besides the above mentioned, or perhaps, because of the above mentioned, there may be a lack of real compassion and empathy on the part of both parties for each other. To see the world from the other persons heart and to trust the other person, that they are doing the best they can. To see them as perfect, the way they are. (Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that there is no room for improvement.) To realize the person is always more important than any ideology or material object or goal; the relationship comes first.
Perhaps ask; what’s the worst thing that can happen if the worst thing happens. In most cases, upon sober reflection, the answer is; nothing very devastating. Again, the third entity, the bond that binds, the trust in that everything that happens is only good.
There is a need for genuine compassion and complete acceptance of the other as perfect as they are; acknowledgement and acceptance of each others needs and idiosyncrasies and the commitment and willingness to live with them as they are, for as long as they are that way. And how can we come to such a point. History has shown, as do presetn day successful marriages, that there is a bond that binds one love ot the other. This “glue” comes in the form of a “third party”.
The other person; their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals must be your own as well: you are one; heads and tails of the same coin. One spirit, one soul, split off into two bodies.
It says, “All beginnings are difficult”. And while this may be so, heading in the right direction, with the right foot, for the right reasons, towards the right goal, will ensure that the trip will be worthwhile and pleasant for you and for all of those who love you …
Abraham Bruck is the developer of the Universal Healing Technique and the UHT Lifetime Trauma Resolution Protocol.
Why Most Couples Don’t Stay Together
I have witnessed, both within my own family, in the outside world and in my practice, what can happen in a relationship if there is no common bond that can actually bind a couple together.
First let me state the not so obvious: a strong attraction, be it physical, mental or emotional: Love; Does not seem to be enough to keep a couple together. Why? Becuse eventually, the body will wither, the mind will change and the emotions will flutter. And love may turn into a dependency or habit. Unless, there is a third entity; the glue that binds the one to the other; the bond that binds, a mutual goal and lifetime commitment to it. The “it” needs to be greater that both of you, a driving force that can take both of you, like a boat down the river, or an ark during a flood (and floods there will be) …
In my opinion, there are two good bonds; children and Religion or a Spiritual Practice (to be more politically correct, or any other proven external disciplinary way of life that both parties agreed to commit to whole-heartedly, abide by, follow and emulate; the goal). There are, of course, no guarantees even if both of these are there, but the chances are multiplied exponentially.
Without these, there is no common bond; it’s just two people living separate lives together: convenient for a nice meal, some ambience, safe sex, and the occasional meaningful conversation …
So, both parties must have the same intent or lifetime goal. Otherwise, both sides will be resentful, because, in any situation, for any important decision, no compromise can satisfy both of the parties, because their primary motivating goals are different; or they have no primary motivating goals and “just don’t feel like it” at the time. And so there is no improvement in the situation and resentments, anger, etc. build; and there is no possibility for a long-term relationship.
A tendency towards negativity, insecurity and fear/anxiety may sometimes seem to obscure love. But this is who the person is at the moment; and they are perfect the way they are.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards not wanting to be so depended upon by the other, for their happiness, security and emotional wellbeing. But this is who that person is at the moment; and perfect the way they are.
Much of this may stem from residual family entanglements. Some behaviors may come from “inherited” family control issues. Some behaviors may come from family insecurity issues.
There are a few key issues that need to be kept in mind: Trust! Honesty! One must trust the other, as the right hand trusts the left. And one must be honest and trustworthy, inside the relationship and in the world at large as well; trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and trusting your partner and being honest with your partner, and being trustworthy and honest in all your dealings in the world. In other words, your thoughts, speech and actions should always be in line with a clear conscience.
There are times when you will feel rejected or abandoned, based on your perception of the situation. There is usually no reason to feel this way; from the other’s standpoint, it’s not about you, it may be about their family control issues.
At times you may feel that you would appear weak if you give in to the desires of the other. There is no reason to feel weak by giving in: remember the bond that binds; you can show your compassion and accommodation of what may be the other’s family insecurity issues.
Besides the above mentioned, or perhaps, because of the above mentioned, there may be a lack of real compassion and empathy on the part of both parties for each other. To see the world from the other persons heart and to trust the other person, that they are doing the best they can. To see them as perfect, the way they are. (Of course, there is always room for improvement.) To realize the person is always more important than any ideology or material object or goal; the relationship comes first.
Perhaps ask; what’s the worst thing that can happen if the worst thing happens. Most of the time, when the dust settles, nothing too spectacular. Again, the third entity, the bond that binds, the trust in that everything that happens is only good.
There is a need for genuine compassion and complete acceptance of the other as perfect as they are; acknowledgement and acceptance of each others needs and idiosyncrasies and the commitment and willingness to live with them as they are, for as long as they are that way. And to accomplish this, we need the help of a special “glue” to bind one love to the other. A “third party” that has historically been present in all successful marriages. And continues to be a vital element in marriages today.
The other person; their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals must be your own as well: you are one; heads and tails of the same coin. One person, soul, living life in two bodies.
It says, “All beginnings are difficult”. And while this may be so, heading in the right direction, with the right foot, for the right reasons, towards the right goal, will ensure that the trip will be worthwhile and pleasant for you and for all of those who love you …
Abraham Bruck is the developer of the Universal Healing Technique and the UHT Lifetime Trauma Resolution Protocol.
The Bonds of Marriage
I have witnessed, both within my own family, in the outside world and in my practice, what can happen in a relationship if there is no common bond that can actually bind a couple together.
Well, let me digress (or maybe, progress) and say a bit about getting together as a couple in the first place: even if there is a strong attraction, be it physical, mental or emotional: Love; That does not seem to be enough to keep a couple together; the body will wither, the mind will change and the emotions will flutter. And love may turn into a dependency or habit. Unless, there is a third entity; the glue that binds the one to the other; the bond that binds, a mutual goal and lifetime commitment to it. The “it” needs to be greater that both of you, a driving force that can take both of you, like a boat down the river, or an ark during a flood (and floods there will be) …
In my opinion, there are two good bonds; children and Religion or a Spiritual Practice (to be more politically correct, or any other proven external disciplinary way of life that both parties agreed to commit to whole-heartedly, abide by, follow and emulate; the goal). There are, of course, no guarantees even if both of these are there, but the chances are multiplied exponentially.
Without these, there is no common bond; it’s just two people living separate lives together: convenient for a nice meal, some ambience, safe sex, and the occasional meaningful conversation …
So, both parties must have the same intent or lifetime goal. Otherwise, both sides will be resentful, because, in any situation, for any important decision, no compromise can satisfy both of the parties, because their primary motivating goals are different; or they have no primary motivating goals and “just don’t feel like it” at the time. And so there is no improvement in the situation and resentments, anger, etc. build; and there is no possibility for a long-term relationship.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards negativity, insecurity and fear/anxiety. But this is who the person is at the moment; and they are perfect the way they are.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards not wanting to be so depended upon by the other, for their happiness, security and emotional wellbeing. But this is who that person is at the moment; and perfect the way they are.
Much of this may stem from residual family entanglements. Control issues coming from the family of origin may be the cause of some behaviors. Some behaviors may come from family insecurity issues.
There are a few key issues that need to be kept in mind: Trust! Honesty! One must trust the other, as the right hand trusts the left. And one must be honest and trustworthy, inside the relationship and in the world at large as well; trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and trusting your partner and being honest with your partner, and being trustworthy and honest in all your dealings in the world. In other words, your thoughts, speech and actions should always be in line with a clear conscience.
There are times when you will feel rejected or abandoned, based on your perception of the situation. There is usually no reason to feel this way; from the other’s standpoint, it’s not about you, it may be about their family control issues.
At times you may feel that you would appear weak if you give in to the desires of the other. There is no reason to feel weak by giving in: remember the bond that binds; you can show your compassion and accommodation of what may be the other’s family insecurity issues.
Besides the above mentioned, or perhaps, because of the above mentioned, there may be a lack of real compassion and empathy on the part of both parties for each other. To see the world from the other persons heart and to trust the other person, that they are doing the best they can. To see them as perfect, the way they are. (Don’t get me wrong: there is always room for improvement.) To realize the person is always more important than any ideology or material object or goal; the relationship comes first.
Perhaps ask; what’s the worst thing that can happen if the worst thing happens. Usually the answer is not such a big deal. Again, the third entity, the bond that binds, the trust in that everything that happens is only good.
There is a need for genuine compassion and complete acceptance of the other as perfect as they are; acknowledgement and acceptance of each others needs and idiosyncrasies and the commitment and willingness to live with them as they are, for as long as they are that way. And this, as has been proven throught the ages, and continues to be valid, cannot be accomplished without the “third party”, which is the bond that binds one love to the other.
The other person; their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals must be your own as well: you are one; heads and tails of the same coin. One spirit, one soul, split off into two bodies.
It says, “All beginnings are difficult”. And while this may be so, heading in the right direction, with the right foot, for the right reasons, towards the right goal, will ensure that the trip will be worthwhile and pleasant for you and for all of those who love you …
Abraham Bruck is the developer of the Universal Healing Technique and the UHT Lifetime Trauma Resolution Protocol.
Advice to Engaged Couples, Newly Weds and WannaBees
I have witnessed, both within my own family, in the outside world and in my practice, what can happen in a relationship if there is no common bond that can actually bind a couple together.
First let me state the not so obvious: a strong attraction, be it physical, mental or emotional: Love; Does not seem to be enough to keep a couple together. Why? Becuse eventually, the body will wither, the mind will change and the emotions will flutter. And love may turn into a dependency or habit. Unless, there is a third entity; the glue that binds the one to the other; the bond that binds, a mutual goal and lifetime commitment to it. To see you through the inevitable tough times, you will need something greater than both of you; a driving force that can take both of you, like a boat down the river, or an ark during a flood …
In my opinion, there are two good bonds; children and Religion or a Spiritual Practice (to be more politically correct, or any other proven external disciplinary way of life that both parties agreed to commit to whole-heartedly, abide by, follow and emulate; the goal). Even if both of these are present, there are no guarantees, but the chances are greatly improved.
Without these, there is no common bond; it’s just two people living separate lives together: convenient for a nice meal, some ambience, safe sex, and the occasional meaningful conversation …
So, the intent or lifetime goal of both parties must be the same. Otherwise, both sides will be resentful, because, in any situation, for any important decision, no compromise can satisfy both of the parties, because their primary motivating goals are different; or they have no primary motivating goals and “just don’t feel like it” at the time. And so there is no improvement in the situation and resentments, anger, etc. build; and there is no possibility for a long-term relationship.
A tendency towards negativity, insecurity and fear/anxiety may sometimes seem to obscure love. But this is who the person is at the moment; and they are perfect the way they are.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards not wanting to be so depended upon by the other, for their happiness, security and emotional wellbeing. But this is who that person is at the moment; and perfect the way they are.
Much of this may stem from residual family entanglements. “Inherited” family control issues may the the cause of some behaviors. Some behaviors may come from family insecurity issues.
There are a few key issues that need to be kept in mind: Trust! Honesty! One must trust the other, as the right hand trusts the left. And one must be honest and trustworthy, inside the relationship and in the world at large as well; trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and trusting your partner and being honest with your partner, and being trustworthy and honest in all your dealings in the world. In other words, your thoughts, speech and actions should always be in line with a clear conscience.
There are times when you will feel rejected or abandoned, based on your perception of the situation. There is usually no reason to feel this way; from the other’s standpoint, it’s not about you, it may be about their family control issues.
At times you may feel that you would appear weak if you give in to the desires of the other. There is no reason to feel weak by giving in: remember the bond that binds; you can show your compassion and accommodation of what may be the other’s family insecurity issues.
Besides the above mentioned, or perhaps, because of the above mentioned, there may be a lack of real compassion and empathy on the part of both parties for each other. To see the world from the other persons heart and to trust the other person, that they are doing the best they can. To see them as perfect, the way they are. (Of course, there is always room for improvement.) To realize the person is always more important than any ideology or material object or goal; the relationship comes first.
Perhaps ask; what’s the worst thing that can happen if the worst thing happens. Most of the time, when the dust settles, nothing too spectacular. Again, the third entity, the bond that binds, the trust in that everything that happens is only good.
There is a need for genuine compassion and complete acceptance of the other as perfect as they are; acknowledgement and acceptance of each others needs and idiosyncrasies and the commitment and willingness to live with them as they are, for as long as they are that way. Which, if you ask me, and as has been proven millions of times in the present and throughout history, cannot be accomplished without the “third party”, the bond that binds one love to the other.
The other person; their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals must be your own as well: you are one; heads and tails of the same coin. One person, soul, living life in two bodies.
It says, “All beginnings are difficult”. And while this may be so, you can ensure that the trip will be worthwhile and pleasant for you and for all of those who love you, by heading in the right direction, with the right foot, for the right reasons, towards the right goal …
Abraham Bruck is the developer of the Universal Healing Technique and the UHT Lifetime Trauma Resolution Protocol.
The Bonds of Marriage
I have witnessed, both within my own family, in the outside world and in my practice, what can happen in a relationship if there is no common bond that can actually bind a couple together.
Well, let me digress (or maybe, progress) and say a bit about getting together as a couple in the first place: even if there is a strong attraction, be it physical, mental or emotional: Love; That does not seem to be enough to keep a couple together; the body will wither, the mind will change and the emotions will flutter. And love may turn into a dependency or habit. Unless, there is a third entity; the glue that binds the one to the other; the bond that binds, a mutual goal and lifetime commitment to it. To see you through the inevitable tough times, you will need something greater than both of you; a driving force that can take both of you, like a boat down the river, or an ark during a flood …
In my opinion, there are two good bonds; children and Religion or a Spiritual Practice (to be more politically correct, or any other proven external disciplinary way of life that both parties agreed to commit to whole-heartedly, abide by, follow and emulate; the goal). Even if both of these are present, there are no guarantees, but the chances are greatly improved.
Without these, there is no common bond; it’s just two people living separate lives together: convenient for a nice meal, some ambience, safe sex, and the occasional meaningful conversation …
So, the intent or lifetime goal of both parties must be the same. Otherwise, both sides will be resentful, because, in any situation, for any important decision, no compromise can satisfy both of the parties, because their primary motivating goals are different; or they have no primary motivating goals and “just don’t feel like it” at the time. And so there is no improvement in the situation and resentments, anger, etc. build; and there is no possibility for a long-term relationship.
A tendency towards negativity, insecurity and fear/anxiety may sometimes seem to obscure love. But this is who the person is at the moment; and they are perfect the way they are.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards not wanting to be so depended upon by the other, for their happiness, security and emotional wellbeing. But this is who that person is at the moment; and perfect the way they are.
Much of this may stem from residual family entanglements. Control issues coming from the family of origin may be the cause of some behaviors. Some behaviors may come from family insecurity issues.
There are a few key issues that need to be kept in mind: Trust! Honesty! One must trust the other, as the right hand trusts the left. And one must be honest and trustworthy, inside the relationship and in the world at large as well; trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and trusting your partner and being honest with your partner, and being trustworthy and honest in all your dealings in the world. In other words, your thoughts, speech and actions should always be in line with a clear conscience.
There are times when you will feel rejected or abandoned, based on your perception of the situation. There is usually no reason to feel this way; from the other’s standpoint, it’s not about you, it may be about their family control issues.
At times you may feel that you would appear weak if you give in to the desires of the other. There is no reason to feel weak by giving in: remember the bond that binds; you can show your compassion and accommodation of what may be the other’s family insecurity issues.
Besides the above mentioned, or perhaps, because of the above mentioned, there may be a lack of real compassion and empathy on the part of both parties for each other. To see the world from the other persons heart and to trust the other person, that they are doing the best they can. To see them as perfect, the way they are. (Of course, there is always room for improvement.) To realize the person is always more important than any ideology or material object or goal; the relationship comes first.
Perhaps ask; what’s the worst thing that can happen if the worst thing happens. Usually the answer is not such a big deal. Again, the third entity, the bond that binds, the trust in that everything that happens is only good.
There is a need for genuine compassion and complete acceptance of the other as perfect as they are; acknowledgement and acceptance of each others needs and idiosyncrasies and the commitment and willingness to live with them as they are, for as long as they are that way. Which, if you ask me, and as has been proven millions of times in the present and throughout history, cannot be accomplished without the “third party”, the bond that binds one love to the other.
The other person; their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals must be your own as well: you are one; heads and tails of the same coin. One spirit, one soul, split off into two bodies.
It says, “All beginnings are difficult”. And while this may be so, heading in the right direction, with the right foot, for the right reasons, towards the right goal, will ensure that the trip will be worthwhile and pleasant for you and for all of those who love you …
Abraham Bruck is the developer of the Universal Healing Technique and the UHT Lifetime Trauma Resolution Protocol.